Tom Wants To Live in Arizona This is a great site, it’s not like I’ll update it or anything.

Rehoboth

I'm going to Rehoboth Beach DE for the weekend. It should be a good time. I'll be sure not to post any pictures or anything when I get back. I'm not even bringing my camera.

Have a nice fourth of july weekend! send me money!

Do Something!

    Would someone PLEASE go talk to the giant dildos that run my previous employer and ask them to do something about the GD stock price? Make it go UP and stay UP?  i need it to go up NOW. Way up.
    those fucking ASSHOLES are going to ruin my life even more if it doesnt go up SOON. 
    FUCKERS! I hate them all. GOD! they are STILL screwing me!  STILL!

Everything is terrible...

AC vs Fat – Concert – Crazy

So I still haven't gotten an air conditioner.  It's hot as balls out this way.  And being fat doesn't help with the heat. I'm going to go looking again tonight.  I can't find a store that has any in stock. 

I'm so fat and tired of being sweaty all the time.  I spend most of my days at friends houses who have air conditioning.  I drive my fat lazy ass over their house and sit there eating my Double stuff oreos and watching aliens and mean girls back to back to back.  I might not be so fat if I didn't sit on the couch all day and eat Double stuff oreos.  But what else am i supposed to do? Work? 

Did you see the 40 year Old Virgin?  The only part I have seen is when he leaves the bar with the drunk chick in the PT cruiser. so funny. what a crazy bitch. "That fucker came out of NOWHERE!" Someday I will watch the rest of the movie.  Its sitting right there. Like only about 5 feet from the dvd player.  Someday i will put it in and watch it.  I'm so busy with work (yeah right) and my busy social life (yeah right) that i dont have time to watch movies (yeah right).

i'm going to def leppard and journey friday night. treats for me. I cant wait to see the trashy broads and weirdos that you know are going to be at that show.  I haven't been to a concert in like FOREVER. Oh wait i was at the cranberries at the Tower maybe 4 or 5 years ago.  so maybe not forever.  whatever. i know you are jealous.

So we were at bruesters ice cream last night in aston or somewhere up there on 202.  Anyway there was this crazy high bitch there.  Maybe 18-21 years old. She looked like she crawled out from under the overpass.  She had no bra and was wearing an orange tank top and you could see her areolas. she was hopping and dancing around like a little kid when they know they are getting ice cream or candy.  she HAD to be high. like heroin. something hard core cuz she looked 18 going on 45. i wish i would have had my camera. anyway she SAW them making her ice cream cone through the window and she starts saying "ooooh it looks sooooo good", practically drooling. We thought she was talking to the lady but the window was closed. And she was by herself.  she grabbed the cone and started eating it before she even paid for it.  it was bizarre.  we were CRYING laughing. I was calling her "Crazy Areolas".  you had to see the chick in action.  priceless. 

Milkshake

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their life
Is better than yours,
Damn right its better than yours,
I can teach you,
But i have to charge

La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting

Short post

Okay, I'm going to post a little short blurb in order to stop the comments and emails about not posting.  Also, Martin has filed a complaint with the ICLB (Independent Council for Lazy Bastards), a council that I'm pretty sure he's the chairman and founder of. (yeah yeah!)  Not that I'm worried to get anything from the ICLB, because after all, they are Lazy Bastards as well and won't want to get off the couch to send me any citations or whatever. (Since the ICLB doesn't really exist, none of the above really matters.)

Anyway, I'm back from San Diego.  It was a good time.  Love the weather there. It's perfect almost everyday. I think I would get tired of it though.  And the people are all a little weird. Like, there is no age-appropriate rule there.  There are 40 year old men dressing like skate boarders, and 50 year old women dressing like britney spears.  Kinda like Shelly from the West Chester office.  I mean come on, no one wants to see that shit! Tattoos everywhere and freaks galore. Where do these tattoo'd people work? Seriously. And there are tons of homeless people there.  I guess it's the place to go if you are homeless. Perfect weather everyday.  Never rains. Never gets really cold. That's where I'm going once my unemployment runs out. 

I went to Los Angeles and went to Disneyland. We ate at this restaurant in Beverly Hills, The Stinking Rose.  It's a garlic restaurant.  Holy Shit. It was SO good. We sat in these red velvet tent things over the table. Highly recommend it if you like garlic. Check it out. Rose   Click on the Beverly Hills location and you will see the red tent things. We didn't have the garlic ice cream though.  Instead we went to some place where they bake fresh cookies and put ice cream between them.  like a custom-made chipwich.  It was across the street from a Hooka bar.  Whatever that is.  It looked like an opium den.  They are all sucking on these tubes.  It was all weird.  I have to look it up to see what the hell that was all about.

There's so much stuff to tell.  At the marathon my friend's friend (which I guess she's my friend too?) anyway she was going to the start line and was talking to the Big Mac guy from Super Size Me.  Hes the dude who ate 20,000 big macs or some shit.  And at the finish line he walked right by me, not two feet away, holding a Big Mac.  That was my "celebrity" sighting while in California. Some guy who was in a documentary and eats a lot of Big Macs.

I will write more later. I gotta go to my nephew's baseball game. I guess it's not really a short post. But anyway, in case anyone cares, I still didn't find a job in Sydney.  Or in Pennsylvania.  And no one has sent me bags of money yet either.  Time is running out people.  Assholes.   

San Diego

I can't believe it's June already. It's hot as balls here too.  I'm getting packed to go to San Diego for ten or twelve days. Not sure really. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do in California for all that time.  Might go to Mexico. I know I'm going to Disneyland and LA.  I think. Eh whatever. It's not like I have to be back at any certain time for anything, like a job or any sort of responsibilities.  It's all fun and games until my unemployment dries up, and I'm living in a van down by the river.  

Speaking of vans, did anyone find me a job in Sydney yet? Did I even discuss that whole mess yet?  I haven't posted in forever! I called the Australian Embassy in Washington DC about getting a visa to work in Australia. It's a pain in the ass. You can't just go there to work.  You have to have a company sponsor you. They need to provide information to the government on how they had to bring in a foreigner for the job. It's a whole circus.  If they had a fence to hop over I would, or if I could sneak in by floating there on a door I would.  I mean I would work at McDonalds over there. What do I care? As long as I had some money to eat and buy things. The whole thing pisses me off. How dare they say no to me!  I said, "Do you know who I am?" And the lady said, "Should I?"  I said "Uh yeah!  Hello?  I have a blog at colello.org?  Yeah that's me." And we got disconnected.  I'm sure she didn't hang up.   

Maybe I could get Tim to sponsor me or something. Since he lives there and what not.  But I'm pretty sure he would want my face to sponsor his cock in return.  Even I have my limits.

Anyway here's a funny site. FSM Go there. Become enlightened.

I have a kind of funny story to tell you but it's too long and I have to get packed. On June 12th I will be in Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport for about an hour while I change planes on my trip back from California.  Come on down and I will sign an autograph for you. Or something.

Oh and in case anyone was worrying, I did get my hard top off my jeep last weekend. Thank you all for nothing. Jerks. Where are my bags of money? I need the money so I can buy a house with central air. Cuz I'm fat. And fat people can't take the heat. And my window A/C unit is dead. And if I had bags of money I wouldn't have to worry about working in Sydney.  Do you see how having bags of money will solve 94% of my problems?  Plus giving me bags of money will most assuredly guarantee you a space in heaven. Come on.  COME ON. 

I will try to post from San Diego. Pictures or something.  I should have internet in the room. And it better be free.