Tom Is A Blog Neglector This is a great site, it's not like I'll update it or anything.

Packing and Funny Torrent

I'm busy packing and getting my crap together to leave. Two more days! Only one more left to pack and do stuff. It's so annoying. I don't feel like I will ever be ready. So much to do.

Anyway, here's a picture of an instant "classic" torrent file that someone sent me. I thought I would post it here. His site seems to be rather neutered and "family friendly" to put it up there. Sure I'll cross that line. What do I care? Enjoy! torrent

One week…

This time next week I will probably be sitting in the philly airport, waiting for my plane.  I'm kind of ready.  Just have to pack.

Nothing exciting has happened this week.  Oh wait some old man my neighbor knows threatened to kill me if I go to her gym parking lot tonight. i said Bring it. (lol bring it. how gay) Long story short, I told him to stop calling her because he's seriously got something wrong with him.  It's a whole convoluded drama that's total bullshit and has nothing to do with her.  Somehow she's in the middle of it, because that's how women are, especially her... blah blah blah.  I was at her gym fixing her PC and I could hear him talking to her on the phone and screaming at her and cursing at her.  So I got sick of hearing it and snapped out.  Lol.  Being unmedicated is kind of fun! 

Anyway this guy is 58 and he acts like he's 15, and thats a stretch.  Just believe me when I say that I have never met or even heard of anyone like this jerkoff. So if you hear about me getting murdered by some short old man with S.M.S (short man syndrome) or L.M.S (little man syndrome) you know what happened. 

I was trying to think of a way to indirectly ruin his life.  Like have him arrested or something.  Can't I have him arrested or questioned or something annoying because he said he was going to kill me?  He's diabetic so I'm hoping (finger's crossed) he goes into some kind of shock or coma and dies.  Soon.  That would be a nice going away present.

Ah who cares. He's old and she apparently doesn't want to end all the bullshit.  Who wants to live like that? I don't understand.

Music cats…

Stevie Wonder   House   Metal   Stoner Rock   HipHop   Techno   iCat

(Would be better with sound. Techno cat makes me laugh the most.)

An article, a link, a question, and a link for Jill

An interesting page.

Here is a pretty funny news story.  Read it here, then read my comments below.

Okay, my favorite part of the story: "What we showed was that if you exercise for 19 or 20 hours at a time, your heart will tire a bit, about 10 percent."  Tire a bit?  A BIT?  I would be dead. 10% of dead is still dead.  How's that for tire a bit?  19 to 20 hours AT A TIME?  Who the HELL does that?  All the exercise I have done in my LIFETIME added together wouldn't equal 20 hours, let alone 20 hours at a time!

  Another good line: "And the slowdown is greater in people who carry what's been called the "fitness gene,".  Well, let me just say, that I'm pretty certain I don't have that gene.  I have the "double-stuff oreo eating" gene, and the "lay around and don't get a job" gene, the N gene. Yeah yeah! And again, the slowdown would be greater in ME, because as I stated earlier, I would be dead.

"As athletes crossed the line after 90 hours of biking, climbing, swimming, paddling and rope work, the researchers tested their hearts."  90 hours?  I haven't worked 90 hours in a year or more.  I couldn't imagine doing anything in that list for more than 20 minutes. (Or working.) When I was done they could test my heart, hell they could chop it out of my chest and kick it around like it a hacky-sack. Because I would be dead.

I don't understand pushing your body like that, with the decathalons and triathalons and bike races and and endurance stuff.  What do you get out of it? What is the attraction?  Does it mean you are a better human being because you can exercise for 20 hours?  My mom can beat up your mom.  My dick is bigger than yours. Whatever. Maybe I will start doing stuff like that.  Maybe then I will get it.  Or die.  What's the difference.

Who knows about inventing stuff and getting patents? I want to know how I can patent an idea. Does it work that way? I don't have the money or knowledge to create a prototype. It probably exists already. I ask questions and no one ever responds.  No one cares.

Here's a special link for Jill.  I found it after reading a post on Martin's site. Jill, click here!  If everyone who reads this site clicks on Jill's special link, it will be the most hits that site has probably ever had! By the way, it's not pornographic or otherwise inappropriate. 

Funny WMV

This is a clip from Howard Stern. They call an oriental lady who repairs clocks. Pretty funny. Howard Stern - Clock Lady

I cant get this to work so don't try it until after I cry to Martin and he tells me how to fix it.  **UPDATE** Martin fixed it! He's the best! 

Im trying to clean up my desktop. There is stuff all over it. Crap. My computers NEVER looked like this. So I will try to upload anything funny or note-worthy (in my opinion) as I'm doing it.

Incidentally, I found my Tesla mp3s. Woohoo! Tesla!

Two links

The first link is to an intersting article about whether having money makes you any happier. Sounds boring but it's pretty good. Click here. You know you want to.

The second one is to a site where they use face recognition software to tell you what celebrities you resemble. Click here for that page.  You need to have a picture that's large, front-facing, and with straight faces. My celebrity matches were Joshua Jackson, Bobby Darin, Hugh Jackman, Pierce Brosnan, Babe Ruth (what a NOSE on that guy!), Billy Joel, Ricky Martin, Matt Dillon, Howard Hughes, and James Coburn.  What a varied array of people to look like. I think the Joshua Jackson is about the closest. Fred Savage must not have been in the database.  Lots of people used to tell me that I looked like him, strangers on the streets. Moley moley moley (from Goldmember).  Ricky Martin? Ha! A fat, double stuff oreo-eating, unemployed, living at home loser ricky martin - maybe. Babe Ruth was not a attractive man. At least not in the picture they showed on the site. And if I looked anything like half of these people I might have been a model or an actor or something.  At least I would be half decent to look at. 

Funny video

Here is a link to a video on YouTube. It's a clip from Big Brother 7.  Don't know if any of you watch Big Brother or not. I don't watch it. It's kind of dumb. It's like Survivor, without the hardship or anything exciting happening ever.   I can't believe it's still on tv. 

Anyway click here for the clip!

By the way, it's the audio that makes the clip.  It's a little risque so you might not want to be playing it in the office.

All good things…

I got back from the shore Sunday evening.  It was a good time.  Friday we went for a boat ride in the various waterways down around Wildwood.  I got splashed and took my shirt off to dry, and all my blubber got sunburned. Well the blubber that I didn't put sunblock on.  Did you hear about the two whales that got beached in Sea Isle or somewhere down there? Oh wait, I guess most of the people who read this aren't anywhere near the Atlantic Ocean, let alone ANY ocean. (is that the right word, let alone? it sounds right but it doesn't look right).  Anyway, the whales weren't me.  I didn't lay on the beach just for that reason.  I'm tired of people trying to push me into the ocean.

Anyway, I applied for my unemployment Sunday, as I have done every other Sunday since January or February.  This time was different though.  I received the following email. 

So that's it. I had a good run.  I knew it wasn't going to last forever. Two more weeks would have been swell, but I'm not complaining.  Six months of free money is nothing to complain about. Of course I didn't use those six months to do anything constructive or that might get me ready to get a job. Why would I do something like that? I didn't do anything really. Wasted it like I wasted today and like I will most assuredly waste tomorrow. And probably Wednesday too for that matter.  I did travel A LOT.  I have never travelled so much in my life. And far away places, not just Delaware or New Jersey. Yes I actually got out of Folsom! All it took was being unemployed and getting money for nothing (and chicks for free).

Well now that my unemployment has dried up, and I haven't found a job, and my stock is a total joke, it's time to do what any other person in my situation would do... leave the country! In 16 days I will be on a plane to Sydney, not to be returning to the States until October 30th. Or until I get bored enough or broke enough to want to come back.  So if anyone knows of any job openings here, November would be a good time to let me know about them.

Did I do a post about Sydney and the circumstances around my going there?  Does anyone give a shit? Really? Cock. Anal leakage. Just seeing if anyone would notice.

Many people think going there is unbelievably stupid, though many people see my side of it.  What do you think? Do you think it's unbelievably stupid for me to go to Sydney for almost 3 months when I have no job and no source of income whatsoever?  Or do you think that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and that I should go and worry about everything when I get back?  If I had the knowledge and the software to put a poll on my site, I would find out how many of you think it's stupid. (I probably could have learned how to do that durning those six months when I had nothing better to do.) 

So a while back I saw Letterman or Leno and they had Roseanne Barr on. I like her. She makes me laugh.  Anyway, she was saying how the world is supposed to end in August of 2006.  Some ancient people's calendar supposedly only goes up to August '06.  And by ancient people I don't mean Memma. I mean like the Mayan or Aztec civilizations.  Not as old as Memma (but younger than Bill's balls). Anyway, my point is, that if ever there was a good time for the world to end, it's right about now. This way I won't have to find a job.

If you really think about it, it's what the world deserves for stopping my unemployment checks and expecting me to get a job. The punishment fits the crime. I don't think it's totally unreasonable.

Now is a good time for you to send me money.  No one will though because you are all buttplugs.  You will miss me when I'm gone. Kind of. Considering I haven't actually seen any of you in 7 months or more (or maybe ever).  I might not have internet while I'm in Sydney. It's $29 a day at the apartment, and more if you go over 100 MB.  I will NOT pay that much for internet access. It's ridiculous.  I have to write them a letter. I will have to go to Starbucks or some other free internet access point in order to update my page and live. God knows I can't live without the internet.  I am going to miss all of my tv shows now because I won't be able to download terrabytes of crap from the internet.

I want to get some class action lawsuits together against cingular and credit card companies.  Do you know Cingular has an upgrade fee if you upgrade your phone? not your plan just your phone? thats bullshit. what do they care what kind of phone you have?  its like your home phone company charging you because you got a new cordless phone.  and people just pay it. no one questions all the stupid fees companies are charging these days.  I want to sue Cingular, and all of the credit card companies for their outrageous interest rates and many other stupid fees.  Do you know there is a fee for using your card overseas?  its a percent of the price, usually between 1 and 3 percent.  For nothing.  They don't do any more work to convert the money to US.  Its all in their computer system already. they have been doing the conversion for free for YEARS and now they have to charge a fee for something that is invisible to EVERYONE.  its all bullshit. but everyone will pay it because no one cares. I can't remember who else I want to sue.  So if anyone knows how I go about suing companies for being stupid and nickel-and-diming us, and basically annoying me, please let me know.

No one cares. What the F.